Sweet China Ruby

Photo

2008-05-28T19:45:00.001-05:00

Confession time...

2008-01-03T22:12:00.001-05:00

I direct the stream directly onto the urinal cake, secretly hoping that it will erode before my eyes.

Sadly, it never seems to have any effect.

It's about that time...

2007-11-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

Looks like Hanukah is coming up quick! Time to find presents for me! Here's a couple things to get you started...

Apple iPhone:

It's the iPhone, what else do you need to know.

8-bit Tie:

Stylish, and at the same time, functional.

CCM EB100 Referee bag:

My old one is in a pretty heinous state of repair.

Indiana Jones Pinball Machine:

Don't you worry, I'll find a place for it to go somewhere in my apartment.

A wii-zapper shell:

For wii-zapping of course. I'm sort of married to this particular model, even though there are others out there. This one is the coolest.

A collapsible 3 step ladder:

I'm very interested in this particular ladder. It locks, it has 3 steps, and folds up to less than 3". It's available at Home Depot.

I also need a new silver chain for the necklace I've been wearing since forever. The one I have now is a 2 foot length, and it's perfect. Alternatively, if someone wanted to take the chain I currently have and get it repaired, that would work equally as well.

And, there's always the Amazon wish list...

Algorithm March

2007-07-25T16:12:00.000-05:00

With Ninjas!

Thriller

2007-07-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

As performed by inmates:

FantasticMax: Dude, give this a watch.
BlinnBlinncityofsin: Wait, is that a dude dressed like a girl?
FantasticMax: Yeah, in a prison. Surprising no?
BlinnBlinncityofsin: I bet he's popular...
FantasticMax: Hah
BlinnBlinncityofsin: Who woke up one day and was just like, "You know what? Let's get all the inmates together and do Thriller!"
FantasticMax: Well, at least they're using their time constructively, right?
...
FantasticMax:Oh holy hell. Look what Jarett just showed me: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=cpdrc&search=
BlinnBlinncityofsin: Oh my god.
FantasticMax: What else would you rather be doing right now?
BlinnBlinncityofsin: Honestly, there's nothing I'd rather do than watch Asian prisoners dance routines.
FantasticMax: Highlight of my day.

FantasticMax: Did you watch that?
J-Rat: yeah i saw it
J-Rat: staged
FantasticMax: That's totally a jail do you not see the dude dressed up as a girl?
J-Rat: not prisoners
FantasticMax: Oh you're wrong.
FantasticMax: You're so wrong.
J-Rat: prove it
FantasticMax: You prove it
FantasticMax: Tell me what else they're going to do with their time
J-Rat: although that a good deterrent to not kill anyone
J-Rat: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=cpdrc&search=
FantasticMax: Convinced yet?
J-Rat: still no

The secret is out.

2007-07-20T13:51:00.001-05:00

I am Fake Steve Jobs

Daft Punk

2007-07-18T16:11:00.001-05:00

Technologic

Morning Musume

2007-07-17T11:51:00.001-05:00

Koi no Dance Site

Home Made Kazoku

2007-07-16T15:59:00.000-05:00

Shounen Heart

Flow

2007-07-15T11:16:00.001-05:00

Rookie

Nobodyknows+

2007-07-13T15:17:00.000-05:00

Summer

NolongerexplodingTim: did I just hear a japanese guy say skeet skeet?
Fantasticmax: You bet your ass you did

Just so you know,

2007-07-13T14:58:00.000-05:00

I have strawberry seeds stuck in my teeth.

Better than Smartypants...

2007-07-12T17:27:00.000-05:00

max2068: I have a 63% chance of surviving zombie attack
lilliterat: that's great
lilliterat: i'm guessing that means you didn't go back for me
max2068: I made an effort, but ultimately looked out for myself
lilliterat: hmnm
lilliterat: poor Nibbler
max2068: Zombie parakeets are awesome
lilliterat: weeet ! braaaaains! weeet!
max2068: He'd hop around your head, and then try to peck through it
lilliterat: ow! bad! cute! bad bird!

63%

Mingle²

It sort of is...

2007-07-12T16:05:00.001-05:00

Fantasticmax: Back in a bit
Fantasticmax: Gonna fix someone's hockey stick
Fantasticmax: (no joke)
SiStar: your job is better than mine :(

Yoshida Brothers

2007-07-12T15:19:00.001-05:00

Not like the sauce...

Orange Range

2007-07-11T14:25:00.000-05:00

Asterisk

Random stuff, and cleaning out the camera phone

2007-04-30T23:52:00.000-05:00

So tonight on the way home from Grindhouse, there was this girl on the subway who was staring at me. She wasn't looking very happy, and I couldn't figure out why. Like, she was glaring at me, in quite an unsavory manner.

Usually, when this sort of thing happens, I run a quick mental checklist to see what the cause could be. This is more or less what ran through my mind at the time:

1) Did she catch me checking her out?

No, that's not the case, it's too chilly for revealing clothing, and besides, there were far too many people between her and I in the subway to get any sort of a decent look at her.

2) Is my phone ringing "Bananaphone, because Lauren is calling me?

No, that special embarrassment isn't the cause today. Neither have I made any other loud noises, such as farting, to draw negative attention to myself.

3) Might be something related to my appearance, which induces a quick check of what I'm wearing:

Khaki Cargo Shorts
Green Dallas Stars Sweatshirt, hood down
Green shoes with a yellow stripe, and yellow laces
Faded black 7up hat

You'll notice, no Boston gear tonight, which is usually the cause of some distasteful glances. From this, I can draw some simple conclusions: If she's mad at me, it's because she either...

Is from Buffalo, and still upset about Brett Hull's foot in the crease and the Stars winning the cup in 1999.
Is from Minnesota, and is upset because the Stars left in 1993, leaving one of the biggest hockey markets without an NHL team.
Is from Edmonton, who perennially get knocked out in the playoffs by the Stars.
Is extremely against the color green, or yellow shoe laces.
Possibly hates soda, 7up in particular.
Doesn't like beards.

Anyway, I couldn't figure out why she was glaring at me. Some mysteries remain unsolved.

Though completely unrelated, here are some shots taken on my cell phone somewhat recently:

The N_L decorates nicely when the playoffs come around:

Not too long ago, S______ got some amazing seats to a Rangers game. Corporate seats, waitress for our section, all comped. Close enough to actually see the pained look on the face of the Hurricanes. Yeah, I'm a lucky dude.

And the side benefits? Having this guy sit in front of us.

Like my father before me, I'm a packing ninja when it comes time to move. Getting a huge amount of stuff into a van, is no easy feat. Be proud pop.

And last of all, the Red Sox were in town this weekend, which means that everyone from Boston was wearing their colors. Lauren and I were going to Brunch on the upper east side, and from the opposite direction saw a guy running towards us.

He was wearing a sox cap, which is a universal sign of camaraderie in NYC. I put up my hand for a high five, he looked confused for a second, saw my hat, realized what was happening, and high fived me. "Sooooox" he said, slapping my hand.

Sometimes, I love New York.

I can has cheezburger

2007-04-08T00:53:00.000-05:00

(16:45:08) Fantasticmax: Would you like to see a gigantic rabbit?
(16:46:09) BlinnBlinncityofsin: why the heck not
(16:46:13) Fantasticmax: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/page/1/
(16:46:39) BlinnBlinncityofsin: that cant be real
(16:46:44) BlinnBlinncityofsin: that has to be photoshopped
(16:47:17) Fantasticmax: It's real
(16:47:17) Fantasticmax: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/03/30/pwnd/
(16:47:35) BlinnBlinncityofsin: HA
(16:47:42) BlinnBlinncityofsin: its funny 'cause i hate cats
(16:48:30) Fantasticmax: Do you?
(16:48:48) Fantasticmax: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/03/27/clunk/
(16:49:08) BlinnBlinncityofsin: i was never really a fan
(16:49:56) Fantasticmax: Interesting
(16:50:09) Fantasticmax: Hamsters?
(16:50:42) Fantasticmax: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/03/23/i-has-a-melon/
(16:51:11) Fantasticmax: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/03/22/ikea-cat-some-assembly-required/
(16:51:54) Fantasticmax: Hah
(16:51:58) Fantasticmax: Cat in a jar: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/03/20/but-i-dont-has-the-powerrrr/
(16:52:47) BlinnBlinncityofsin: so its a busy night at the N__, eh?

For your entertainment:

2007-03-28T17:44:00.000-05:00

Street Fighter Salsa:

How video games get sold in India... I guess?:

TMNT

2007-03-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went out with a whole bunch of friends to see TMNT. Wez chose the times square AMC, which is one of my least favorite places to be. Like, ever. I hate times sqaure, but the theater is another beast entirely.

I mean, when I see a movie, I don't need a running commentary on what's happening on the screen; "Oh shit! Did you see that? He totally just kicked that guy's ass!"

Wait, really? Crap, I must have missed that.

Anyway, it wasn't that bad last night. However, people did clap at the end of the movie. Full grown 33 year old men... sitting right behind us. Sort of funny, but then again I'm a 24 year old and I still chuckle at the word "boobs."

At the end, all I could think about was, Man, I wonder if splinter is the reason they closed that taco bell in Union Square.

Oh also...

WARNING SPOILERS BELOW!

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Snape kills Dumbledore in Harry Potter #6.

Those crazy Japanese pt. 2!

2007-03-23T01:15:00.000-05:00

Best game of breakout ever...

Make sure to watch the interview at the end, for some hot chubby bunny action.

Gary freaking B______?!

2007-03-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

max2068: Do you know who Gary B______is?
jstein1490: nope
jstein1490: do you?
max2068 Yes, he's the commissioner of the NHL
max2068: So, more or less, the CEO.
max2068: Short, scary looking man, kind of a Napoleon complex,
max2068: Could end my career with a wave of the hand type of thing.
jstein1490: Gotcha
max2068: I was going out to get dome dinner, and didn't notice him waiting for an elevator until it was too late to turn back.
max2068: So the two of us are standing there, awkwardly, waiting for the elevator, and when it finally shows up, there's nobody else inside.
max2068: He has no idea who I am, but I know who he is, and he knows this is the situation. After all, he's the commissioner. All he knows is I'm some dude in a green polo shirt, who may or may not actually work there.
max2068: So he clears his throat, and says, "How're you doing?"
max2068: "Good, thanks. How about you?"
max2068: "Can't complain."
max2068: and then silence, terrible awkward silence,
max2068: for 46 floors
jstein1490: haha, awesome
max2068: Gets better.
max2068: I get down to the lobby, and say good night, after indicating he should leave before me. "Higher on the pay scale," I said. Thank god he chuckled, or I'd have to kill myself then and there. Then I go to wendy's in the basement for a salad, and as I'm waiting in line, someone comes up to me and says, "Excuse me, but you have a sticker on your leg."
max2068: I was wearing new pants
max2068: with the sticker that has the size on it, which was about 10 inc... still on the leg
max2068: that was facing Gary B______
jstein1490: AWESOME
jstein1490: i took this presentation class once that trained people to give a quick 30 second introduction of yourself in case you're stuck in the elevator with an exec
max2068: Yeah, pretty sure I did EVERYTHING wrong. I could have used that class. Though, maybe he looks at me like I'm an ant, not worth his time to stomp upon.
jstein1490: at least you got material for your blog
max2068: True
max2068: That'll give me solace when he finds out who I am and has me fired for an inability to make elevator conversation due to a paralyzing fear of executives.
jstein1490: i wouldn't worry about it too much
max2068: It's interesting because the deputy commissioner walks by my office all the time, and looks like he wants to talk to me, but never does.
max2068: This was most evident, the night I was wearing my 1980 Red Army Olympic hockey jersey, and he stood in front of my door for a full five seconds, trying to figure out if he should say something or not.
jstein1490: In soviet russia, jersey wears you!

Snack Nirvana

2007-03-19T23:55:00.000-05:00

Against my better judgment, as well as suggestions from a few friends, I bought a chocolate fountain. This feat alone should make you slightly worried, but you can bet that I wouldn't be satisfied with using it in a normal fashion.

You bet your ass I'm not. I'm a fan of taking it to the next level.

In Talladega Nights, there was mention of a certain centerpiece at a wedding which involved a fountain type apparatus. It was pretty redneck inspired, but I kind of felt the need to see if my newly acquired chocolate fountain was up to the task.

Yes, I filled it with nacho cheese.

My word was it delicious. This was only a test run, with about 1/3 of the cheese required to make it actually impressive, but let me tell you friends, nacho cheese flowing from a fountain is simply a beautiful sight.

Please excuse the flash, as it made the cheese look something close to radioactive:

Having fun with the MTA

2007-03-16T03:10:00.000-05:00

It's a little sad that it's been so long since I posted at home, my firefox history had no record of blogger.com. That might change.

The MTA threw me a few curveballs today. This afternoon, Mike and I ventured down to the lower east side to go to Tiny's Giant Sandwich shop, as well as Guss' pickles. Though no substantial endevour, it isn't exactly close by and requires a significant train ride to get there.

On the way back to Queens, the N halted between the 49th st and 57th st stations. After sitting for a moment, the conductor came over the PA and announced the following:

"Okay ladies and gentlemen, we've got a good one for you this afternoon. There is a gentleman in the R train ahead of us who is running up and down the train with no pants on. As such, we have to go around the R at five seven while the police remove him. We appreciate your patience, and should be moving shortly."

Mike and I exchanged bemused glances. After a while, the train we were on began to pull ahead, onto the Q track at 57th st. As we did, the conductor yelled out something akin to, "Make way!" I won't claim to understand why, as clearly there was no one in our path, and the people on the train couldn't exactly go anywhere.

Everyone in the train looked over at the other side, hoping to catch a glimpse at the cops dragging out some dude with no pants, but alas, 57th st was empty on the local tracks. You could almost feel the disappointment in the air.

"I guess they got 'im," the conductor said.

Later on, as I was coming home from work, a new set of fun awaited.

The last three games of the night at the League of National Hockey were running on the highlight stations, and none of them were pleasant. I had my choice of an overtime, an overtime into a shootout which lasted seven rounds, or listening to the Phoenix broadcast team.

I'd rather do the shootout that went to seven rounds than listen to Darren Pang punctuate plays with ill timed "OH!" and other such misplaced guttural noises that have no place being fired off by the color man.

But none of that mattered. A few minutes after 3, J___ said, "Hey you can get out of here if you want, of you can stay if you want the overtime..."

I looked up at him and said, "Hey why don't you twist my arm a little more 'eh?" And then the only noise was the sound of my chair spinning as I made a run for the door.

So I waited at the subway station for 15 minutes until an N showed up. I got on, and sat down in my usual rear-facing seat near the conductor in the front middle car. This is right by the door that opens at the top of the stairs at Broadway, and saves me time walking once I get home.

Well, seated behind me were some very loud youths. I'm talking jet engine loud. Like, my headphones are ear plugs with speakers in them, and I could still here these kids talking. I was hoping they would get off at every stop, but alas, they did not.

The train got to Lexington Ave, and as we pulled into the station, there was a huge thud on my window. I was reading a book and looked up to see some drunk asshole had slapped the window as hard as he could.

Thankfully, the train was just getting into the station, so they didn't get into my car, and they couldn't cause me any trouble.

Yeah, life almost works like that.

After leaving Lex, the train headed towards QBP like normal. We came out of the tunnel, and were making our way to the station, when we started to slow down. red signal, I thought.

Then the train braked VERY hard. I figured something bad had happened. Maybe someone had jumped in front of the train, maybe there was something on the tracks. I didn't know.

We sat there for about 4 minutes, and then all of a sudden, an MTA employee comes charging through the car. It's the motorman, making his way to the back of the train and he looks pissed.

That's when I figured it out. Those drunk assholes from Lex pulled the emergency brake. What the hell, I thought.

I forgot, that people are assholes.

After 10 minutes, the motorman comes back up through the car and says, "We should be moving shortly." He was very curt, and I don't blame him.

We got moving and stopped at QBP like normal, then I heard the conductor as we left the station: "Due to our extended stop, this train is now running express to Astoria Bvd. There is an N behind us making all local stops. Again, if you need local service, get out at 39th ave, and take the N behind us."

A few profane words came to mind.

If I had stayed a half hour later at work, I would have gotten paid for it, missed the loud youths, missed the e-brake, and gotten home at the same time.

Instead I get life experiences, and a story to tell the grandkids. Thanks New York!

AFSCME, Local 22

2007-03-14T23:56:00.001-05:00

In the vein of hapland...

2007-03-01T03:10:00.000-05:00

Sweet christ.

I have literally spent no less than 3 hours trying to get through this stupid freaking flash game. Three hours of my life, I won't get back. And yes, I'm not finished. No, I'm not going to stop. I need to beat this. I HAVE to finish, and I will, eventually.

The Impossible Quiz Deluxe

Seriously. Good luck. I can help you up into the mid 60's. Hopefully the whole thing by the end. 34 is my favorite so far.

As if I had nothing better to watch

2007-03-01T01:49:00.000-05:00

I'm really almost ashamed for laughing at this as hard as I did:

Robot libido
Uploaded by sabo-tage

Why I might get into livestock

2007-02-21T23:02:00.000-05:00

You can add this to the list of things I need immediately:

A flock of fainting goats.

According to the internet...

2007-02-15T03:07:00.000-05:00

This might be one of the best music videos ever...

Science, as applied to awesome:

2007-02-10T23:52:00.000-05:00

As found at xkcd

GRL

2007-02-09T00:47:00.000-05:00

For the longest time, I've been reading about the awesomeness of the Graffiti Research Labs. Every time they come up with some new project, I'm blown away.

Don't get me wrong, these aren't your run of the mill subway bombers, though they have done some of that as well... (Bombing = spray painting an impressive tag, not making an explosive device.) The ingenuity of these artists blows my mind. I can't fathom how they come up with the ideas for this stuff. Here's what their goal is, as taken from their website:

Outfitting graffiti writers, artists and protesters with open source tools for urban communication. The goal of the G.R.L. is to technologically empower individuals to creatively alter and reclaim their surroundings from commercial and corporate culture.

For example, here's the first project that totally blew me away: Electroluminescent Stencil

There's an underlying political message sure, but at the same time, the things they're doing are just amazing. Who would think to do things like that? It makes me wonder, why I'm not out there doing amazing things like this, being politically active in the terribly times we live in.

How come I'm not out there, making temporary art on buildings using technology? I'm not sure if it's the non-destructive civil disobedience that attracts me, or if it's just that I'm impressed by the things they do.

The worst part of this all, is that it's happening right in my backyard, but I don't know how to get involved. I suggest you check it out.

Creativity, and foam rubber

2007-02-08T02:02:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, one of the guys who lived on my floor freshman year came up with a fantastic idea.

He wanted people to contribute money so that he could buy a chicken suit. What was he going to do with the chicken suit? I don't rightly know, but if given the right situation, I'm sure it could have been something wonderful.

Nearly every day, I wonder what I could do, if given the resources to go out and just take my ideas into reality. Chances are, if I had the funding, it would come out something like this:

I like Parros just a bit too much...

2007-02-07T22:50:00.000-05:00

max2068: Steve, have I sent you a picture of George Parros yet?
ElderStein: no you haven't
max2068: http://anaheimducks.com/team/bio.php?id=109
ElderStein: trapped in the 70s!
max2068: Such a porn stache!
max2068: He just fought some dude with a beard like the guy from System of a down
ElderStein: I don't know Mooninites
ElderStein: and I don't know System of a Down
ElderStein: I am an Old Fart
max2068: It was like the eternal battle between beard and mustache
ElderStein: heh
max2068: It ended with the linesmen jumping in and saying "Clean shaven"

And people say I have too much free time...

2007-02-04T04:09:00.000-05:00

Not hardly.

That's a heck of an effort...

2007-02-02T20:46:00.000-05:00

What was described to me as: "The Citizen Kane of matchbox car movies."

RoadRace

A short list of interesting facts

2007-01-31T05:20:00.000-05:00

Interesting facts for your contemplation:

1) I'm not setting an alarm this morning, which directly relates to #2.
2) MTV is apparently more powerful than the NHL...
3) ...Which leads me to further believe that the NHL is immensely cheap.
4) Sadly, #3 should come as no big shock to you.
5) 13 hour days are no fun.
6) It's frightening when the man who is effectively CEO of your company stops in front of your office, stares at you for a good ten seconds, and then walks away...
7) ...Especially if you can't think of anything to say...
8) ...But then again, it's probably more embarrassing for him, since you know who he is, and he has no freaking clue who you are, or what you're doing screaming at the goaltender on TV.
9) The sheer amount of collected NHL merchandise I've received for free, has probably come close to the monetary equivalent of one weeks pay.
10) The worst thing in the world, is still coming down the stairs, and seeing your train leaving the station...
11) ...Even with a book to read.
12) Surprisingly little attention is drawn if you wear a bright orange hat at 5am.
14) There are 7 days until Mike Blinn moves to New York...
15) ...Which means I have 6 days to clean my apartment.
16) 4 of those will be spent slacking off.
17) 1 will be spent playing wii...
18) ...Which I guess means 5 days will be spent slacking off.
19) The MTA has a train which is effectively a giant vacuum cleaner,..
20) ...and they run it on the express tracks, where people don't really throw their garbage.

Ways I'm keeping from getting sick...

2007-01-29T13:51:00.000-05:00

So my pops helped me out the other day. He sent me a link to this place called Nutritional tree. The site looks pretty solid, and I'm getting some vitiman C from them.

No more sniffles for me.

Checkitout! : Nutritional tree

Well that sums it up nicely...

2007-01-26T19:16:00.000-05:00

I knew there was a reason I stopped watching CSI Miami. Here it is, summed up in 7 minutes and 16 seconds of Youtube:

And as if that weren't bad enough...

I knew it!

2007-01-24T20:13:00.000-05:00

jstein: i'm watching american idol
jstein: and i'm not afraid to admit it
Fantasticmax: Wow,
Fantasticmax: Strong man to admit that
Fantasticmax: Is Sarah making you?
jstein: and i'm wearing a pink shirt
jstein: no
jstein: and no
Fantasticmax: I guess you can tell me what it's like to be a little girl then 'eh?
jstein: i will fight you
Fantasticmax: You sure you'd risk getting your pink shirt dirty?
jstein: interesting point...

Finetune playlist

2007-01-24T18:28:00.000-05:00

Checkitout! A Fine Tune playlist!

Hidden flash

2007-01-20T22:30:00.000-05:00

So I was at work tonight, sifting through google reader, looking to find something to entertain myself when I suddenly heard a version of kung-fu fighting being played through the speaker on my workstation.

I wasn't too confused, because I had just popped open a whole bunch of links, but none of them should have had that playing. I figured it was an annoying flash ad, and went through all my open browser tabs to try and locate the embarrassing disturbance at my supercube.

Try as I might, it was impossible to locate the offending tab, so I plugged in headphones and did other things. Eventually the song stopped. Fast forward to later in the evening, where I load up google reader again. After clicking on boing boing, I was greeted with the same song.

This is odd, because flash objects aren't supposed to load in google reader. However, load it did. Mystery solved, now I can go back to work.

Oh, the link is here, for your convenience.

Also of note, is another link from the same BoingBoing post: Cows With Guns

Just in case you hadn't seen any in a while...

2007-01-20T22:25:00.001-05:00

Here are some penguin pictures for you.

Penguin Picture Gallery

It really is quite amazing

2007-01-20T03:26:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I left work somewhat early, around 2:30 in the morning. I probably could have been out at 2, but I stuck around to help out, and build up a little overtime. Whatever the case, that's not important.

As I left the office, it was chilly, but not bitingly cold. I wasn't wearing a winter jacket, but instead a hooded sweatshirt and goose down vest.

I forewent the winter cap, instead covering up with my Bruins baseball hat. I waited 20 minutes for a train, and by the time we came above ground in Queens, there was a coating of snow all over the landscape.

20 minutes, and the whole climate changed. Simply remarkable how different Queens is from Manhattan, apparently to include the weather as well.

Also, though unrelated, I wish to thank T_____ M_H___ for introducing me to raspberry cider jack way back in the day. I only wish I could find it locally...

Born to be a hockey player

2007-01-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

FantasticMax: Man...
FantasticMax: : Check out George Parros
FantasticMax: : http://anaheimducks.com/team/bio.php?id=109
SiStar: he pretty much has to play hockey
FantasticMax: : Yeah, or do porn
FantasticMax: : ... in the 70's
SiStar: well, there's always the offseason

Funky Cold Medina

2006-12-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the NHL's holiday party.

For some reason I wanted the band to play The Funky Cold Medina, but they didn't.

So here it is for you instead:

Gotta stick with what you know, right?

2006-11-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

Fantasticmax: What'cha doin?
BlinnBlinncityofsin: looking through craigs list for jobs
Fantasticmax: Hear back from the herald?
BlinnBlinncityofsin: havent sent in an app
BlinnBlinncityofsin: wanted to talk to them more
BlinnBlinncityofsin: should prolly send another email
Fantasticmax: Yeah
Fantasticmax: So don't drag your feet dude
BlinnBlinncityofsin: i dont know... i dont want to cover meetings
BlinnBlinncityofsin: it'd make me shoot myself
Fantasticmax: Experience = Experience
BlinnBlinncityofsin: this is true
BlinnBlinncityofsin: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wri/242082019.html
BlinnBlinncityofsin: theres one for you
Fantasticmax: Good to see that you're looking to incorporate your work with your play.
BlinnBlinncityofsin: hey, you gotta stick with what you know

Again with the guitar hero...

2006-11-27T02:02:00.000-05:00

You ever rock so hard, you end up bursting into flame?

Hardcore man, hardcore.

Science is FUN!

2006-11-25T00:08:00.000-05:00

Hitting below the belt

2006-11-24T17:52:00.000-05:00

Continuing conversation with Emily, regarding my absence at my high school reunion:

Emily: u will be missing the awesome reunion
Emily: whichim really psyched about
Fantasticmax: Hah, are you going to that?
Emily: unfortunately
Fantasticmax: You know what happened at Laurens' 5 year, right?
Emily: wha
Fantasticmax: M___ Z______ got drunk and punched some people in the face
Emily: haha
Emily: nice
Fantasticmax: So there's always the possibility of physical violence
Emily: thats exciting
Emily: i really dont want to go
Fantasticmax: So don't
Emily: ugh
Emily: it's down the street from me
Emily: i have to go
Fantasticmax: I suppose
Fantasticmax: If you want to, you can spread rumors about why I'm not there
Emily: oh i will
Fantasticmax: Eaten by a crocodile
Fantasticmax: Won the lottery
Fantasticmax: Seducing Icelandic models in Reykjavik
Emily: got me pregnant
Emily: AGAIN
Emily: so we aren't speaking
Fantasticmax: Working for a secret government agency
Fantasticmax: Training for the Westminster dog show
Fantasticmax: Preparing my professional darts career by hustling rednecks in the deep south
Fantasticmax: Curing cancer
Emily: well maybe andrew lin will be there
Emily: pretty much the same thing
Emily: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Fantasticmax: :-(

Monday night recap

2006-11-22T04:00:00.000-05:00

20 Nov, 2006.
21:00
LASKER RINK

WHALERS SMACK ARCTIC DOGS IN NOSE WITH ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER

Scoring early and often in a game marred by questionable officiating, The Whalers reached back into the bag, and pulled out a win Monday night at Lasker Rink in Central Park.

Early in the first period, play was end to end with intense pressure coming from the Arctic Dogs, in what will surely become a heated rivalry during the second season of this young Whaler team. The defense chipped in early in the game when F____ Thomas ripped one low by the Dogs netminder to open up the scoring in the first period. From there until the end of regulation, The Whalers never looked back to see the panting dogs straggle behind.

On a night where The Whalers saw their defensive corps riddled with absences, the blueliners found a way to keep the puck away from now veteran netminder M_______ Mennitt. Yet when she was tested, Mennitt stood strong, stopping several quality scoring chances including stoning alternate captain and Arctic Dogs co-founder S____ Chamberlin on a breakaway late in the third period.

"Where did you find this chick?" F____ Thomas was heard to remark, admiring the flashing leather of and icy demeanor of Mennitt.
"It was sad really," replied team captain Max Krueger. "She was in some alley behind Madison Square Garden, weaing her goalie mask, holding a broom and a trashcan lid for a stick and a blocker. She had a sign saying she'd stop pucks for food. I figured, why not give her a shot."
"What?" Thomas replied.
"Nothing, forget it," said Krueger. "Yeah, she's pretty good."

Yet strong defensive play alone does not win hockey games, and The Whalers offense was no group of slackers Monday night. Newcomer M______ Geraghty scored his first hat trick of the season, then piled on one more to boost his performance to Texas sized standards.

"Hey I'm just doing my job," said Geraghty. "I see the twine, and I just put the puck there. No biggie. Hey you got any more of that cider?" A modest player, Geraghty also notched an assist on linemate and alternate captain A__ Katz's goal late in the game.

Yet The Whalers were not perfect in their third apperance this season. Defenseman J__ Alli may have scored a few goals, but they were in the wrong net. Media inquires were rebuked with a blanket statement. "What, you wanted a blowout? Come on, it's much better if it's a close game. Why not give 'em a couple just to make it interesting?"

Another somewhat literal black mark on the Whalers record came late in the game, as T___ Katz bravely attempted to redirect a puck into the net... With her face. "I'm always looking for a new way to score. Gotta keep 'em on their toes," Katz said, massaging her chin after the game. "Turns out this wasn't my best idea, but just you wait. I'll find a way next time."

When asked for his comment after the game, Whaler captain Krueger had this to say; "We played real well tonight. The forward lines started to gel there at the end, and we skated hard the whole 45. There was good passing all around and aside from a few odd bounces, the puck went our way tonight. Oh, and remind those no good chumps I play with that with the exception of M___ and F____, they all owe me money for the nameplates."

Victorious, The Whalers celebrated their 9-4 victory with hot mulled cider and good cheer. They improved to 2-1-0 on the season and return to action Monday the 27th at 9pm against The Tonya Hardings.

Easily, the best press release I've ever seen

2006-11-21T01:53:00.000-05:00

Taco Bell® Offers Tacos for Life for PlayStation 3

Company Will Then Donate PlayStation 3 to a Boys and Girls Club Teen Center

IRVINE, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Now here's an offer to play with: Taco Bell announced today that it is offering a lifetime of Taco Bell® food ($12,500 in Taco Bell Bucks) in exchange to the first person who agrees to trade his or her new PlayStation 3 Game Console. Taco Bell will then donate the next generation game console to the Stanton teen center of the Boys & Girls Club. Taco Bell and its Taco Bell Foundation supports teen programs nationwide through the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

"The PlayStation 3 is on every teen's holiday wish list," said Bob Fulmer, Executive Director, Taco Bell Foundation. "That's why we're offering one lucky individual tacos for life in exchange for giving Boys & Girls Club teens a gift that will keep them in the game."

The tacos will be awarded in the form of $12,500 in TACO BELL® Bucks, redeemable at participating Taco Bell® locations. The party exchanging the PlayStation 3 is solely responsible for payment of all taxes, income and otherwise, and should consult with his/her tax adviser. Interested PlayStation 3 owners should send their name, email and phone number to tacobellnews@tacobell.com. The first person to respond, based on the time the email is received, and then send their PlayStation 3 will be awarded the Taco Bell Bucks. Offer expires December 1, 2006 at 6:00 p.m. PST.

About Taco Bell Foundation

The Taco Bell Foundation, a non-profit 501(c) 3 corporation, has raised more than $16 million to support teen programs at Boys & Girls Clubs of America since 1995 with the help of on-going customer, franchisee and employee donations. As the largest supporter of teens at Boys & Girls Clubs nationwide, the Taco Bell Foundation has helped develop Club initiatives to provide youth with support, mentoring, job training, and counseling to develop leadership skills, character and values. More than one million teens are impacted annually through these programs.

About Taco Bell

Taco Bell Corp., a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc., (NYSE:YUM), is the nation's leading Mexican-style quick service restaurant chain serving tacos, burritos, signature Quesadillas, Grilled Stuft Burritos, nachos and other specialty items. Taco Bell serves more than 35 million consumers each week in nearly 5,800 restaurants in the U.S. "Think Outside the Bun®" and visit www.tacobell.com.

PlayStation 3 is a trademark owned by Sony Computer Entertainment, Inc., who is not affiliated with or participating in this offer in any way.

Urine trouble...

2006-11-17T04:30:00.000-05:00

I drink a lot of water while I'm working. The unfortunate circumstance about this, is that the bathroom is not near my supercube. It's all the way across the reception area, and behind another set of cubicles. It takes me about a minute and a half to get from my desk to the bathroom.

Tonight, I was cutting highlights for two games, and was on my second liter of water. I really had to pee. Like, kidney failure had to pee. The pressure was intense, but I couldn't leave my workstations as it was close to the end of the period in both games, and there's some things I have to do when the period rotates over.

So, there I am, holding it, watching the clocks tick down under three minutes. Slowly, closer to zero, and sweet relief.

Yet, of course, someone goes offside, someone ices the puck, someone scores a goal. All which stop the clock, and there I am... dying.

Finally, both games rolled over to the next period, and I bolted for the lobby. I pulled open the door to the reception area and booked it over to the other side. I edged my hip over to the scramble-card reader that disengages the magnet which holds shut the door to people who don't work there, and pushed on the glass.

And ran right into the door.

"Son of a bitch." I said, rubbing my forehead.

I shook my hip at the door, but the light stayed red. I tapped my pocket, and my wallet was gone.

"CRAP-ASS!" I said.

I was stuck, in the lobby, with no way to get back to my desk, and holy crap on a stick did I have to pee.

I hopped the partition into the receptionist area and snatched at the phone. Luckily, I remembered J__'s extension, and got him on the phone.

"Hallo," he said in his New Yorker accent.
"J__," I started, "I'm really stupid."
"You locked out?" he asked.
"Yeah..." I replied.
"Be right there."

So he let me back in, I got my wallet, and eventually made it to the bathroom.

Then, as I was going home from work, I saw some dude peeing on a building.

Circle of life 'eh?

Morons

2006-11-15T05:18:00.000-05:00

Tonight while I was waiting for the subway, I saw something moving in the tracks at the end of the station.

Being curious, I of course ventured down the platform to ascertain if what I thought I had just seen was actually true.

Wouldn't you know it, some jackass was down in the tracks, crossing to the platform on the other side.

This was at 49th street, where there are four sets of tracks, as the Q runs express between 42nd and 57th streets.

Dude hopped over four third rails just so he wouldn't have to swipe his metrocard again.

Seems to me there are far more important things out there than $2.

You know, just because it's coming up...

2006-11-14T15:45:00.000-05:00

And by it, I mean Chanukah, and my birthday:

The Amazon wish list

Things unavailable on Amazon.com

Natural wake alarm clock

A Black medium Bauer 8000 or 5000 helmet

Indiana Jones Pinball machine

Referee bag

More to come as I discover things I want!

Season opener

2006-11-07T00:47:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the first night of my new hockey season. The Whalers took the ice in Central Park for the first time in a little less than a year. I wasn't exactly sure just how we would look, as most everyone took the summer off.

Turns out that only one other person had put on their gear over the summer to take a skate in a game environment. Judging by our preformance on the ice, you'd never know it.

The game started off fairly uneventfully. A little back and forth play, a shot or two on my goalie and nothin much else. And then, a blocked shot off my shin pads, right to the blade of my stick. Forwards rushed out of the zone. I took the puck over into the offensive zone, looked up, saw the forward waiting wide open.

I fired the puck over to the A.J. He looked over to the right and there was his linemate and Sister, who snapped the puck into the back of the net, right under the blocker of the goaltender.

And from there, the rest of the game came out in our favor. Tape to tape passes, quality shots, and overall just excellent play. Defense knew where forwards were, forwards put the puck back to the point, and Defense took quality shots.

Before you knew it, the Whalers were up 13-0. I didn't end up scoring any goals, as that isn't my job. I had a pretty great scoring chance in the second period. With the puck deep in the offensive zone, T___ snapped the puck to my defensive partner, who sent it cross ice to me.

I stopped the puck, looked up, saw a lane and cranked the puck on net. A rising shot that flew straight in on the goalie... wide left.

It also managed to hit my teammate in the face. She was wearing a full cage, and the puck dropped right to her stick. She slid it across the crease to her brother on the other side who potted his second of the night. Goal.

So at the end of the first game, my team completely destroyed the other team. Let's hope things keep up in that fashion, because it was pretty darn awesome.

Oh yeah, and the team that we beat? It was made up of members from the team that went undefeated in our league last year. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Stat line for 06 November, Whalers Vs. NY Catamounts: 0G-4A-4PT
Season Stat Line: 0G - 4A - 4PT

Van Halen

2006-11-04T18:54:00.000-05:00

Today's Video of the day:

Right now, by Van Halen

Freaking people...

2006-11-04T18:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it's me, because the holiday season is approaching, (read: drug stores have had Christmas stuff up for two weeks, and it's only November 5th,) or if it's just because it's getting a little chilly, but people in New York seem to be getting ruder.

Several times today, I've been blocked on the sidewalk, run into, kicked repeatedly on the subway, (as was my companion,) and I guess just generally offended by the actions of people around me.

I don't get it. For example, I went to Duane Reed, a popular New York drug store, to get something to drink before going into work. As I was leaving, a woman was entering the store. There were two doors at the edge of the building, one labeled in, one labeled out. They both push, so if you're going in, you push. If going out is your thing, you also push. Two doors = efficiency, order, and a smooth way to work.

I was leaving, she was entering. I pushed the out door, and she went in it. She ran right into me, without so much as a word. She looked up and had an annoyed expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" I said. She scoffed in response.

Now remember, I'm in the out door, I opened the door, (which was clear, so it isn't like she couldn't have seen me coming,) and yet somehow, I am in the wrong, and have inconvenienced her.

I just don't understand people.

Your daily music video

2006-11-03T21:22:00.000-05:00

Teddybears STHLM: Hip-Hopper

Enjoy!

Halloween

2006-11-01T03:04:00.000-05:00

It seems a bit odd to me that just this time last year, I was getting ready to fight some kid in a laundromat for frightening the nice hispanic ladies who work there, and mourning the loss of my taco bell.

Two jobs and one year later, I find myself in a completely different position than I was last year.

I really don't mind working at night anymore. I sort of enjoy the fact that I can go see movies in the middle of the day, and usually get a seat on the train to and from work, but tonight was Halloween.

Being that only 4 games were played tonight, I got out of the office at an unheard of 1:30. The downside to this, is that with tomorrow being a work day, all the "urban young professionals" that landlords are so after on Craigslist were on their way home.

I stepped on the train and it smelled of liquor. Several costumed individuals were in the car, and I won't mind telling you that I saw the most attractive sailor, who I don't actually think is in the Navy.

I also saw two, (I'm assuming,) gay gentlemen dressed up as women, staring into each others eyes. Or, I could be wrong, and it was a dude in a skirt who was about to make out with the bearded lady. There was a scare-crow, and a girl dressed up sort of like the virgin mary, but... sultrier.

The best thing ever though, was when Batman got on the train.

Now, I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to wear masks on the MTA. However, Batman hopped on, spread out his cape, and began walking down the train car. This guy had a pretty good costume. Utility belt, boots, the whole shebang.

He was also trashed.

My friends, you haven't lived till you've seen the dark knight falling over in the subway.

"I... I am ::hic:: the night. I'm bat ::hic:: man."

As I got off work so early tonight, I stopped over at this Irish bar on Broadway where I keep saying, If I make it home before last call, I'm going to go in there and get a drink.

Well, it was before last call, and I was home, so I did!

It was me, the bartender, the barback and some dude drinking alone. (Pot? Kettle... Kettle? I'm the Pot...) So I had a smooth Bailey's, and conversed with the bartender a bit.

Actually, I tried. The bartender was TOTALLY Irish, and I could barely understand what the hell he was saying. There was a lot of nod and smile going on.

Anyway, that was Halloween this year. It's hard not to be low key when you have a non-traditional weekend.

On Speedmetal, witty banter, and extreme DDR

2006-10-31T01:39:00.000-05:00

A discussion with Mike tonight somehow raised the subject of Guitar Hero. It was perhaps because I was sending him videos of people who are crazy good playing guitar video games. I found a clip of one of my favorite speed metal bands, Dragonforce, trying to play GH, and sucking royally.

However, it also lead me to some other videos.

Here we see a music video, of said speed-metal band.

Now that you've gotten your fill of regular Dragonforce, we get to the more interesting web gems...

New Conversation with BlinnBlinnCityofSin at 01:14:11

max2068: Jesus tap-dancing christ
max2068: Stepmania - 2 songs ( Dragonforce ) - Google Video

BlinnBlinnCityofSin: daaaaaaaaaaamn
max2068: It gets crazier when they hit the chorus
max2068: Kid MUST be asian
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: i bet he gets laid all the time!

And then...

New Conversation with ErictheRed at 01:20:04

max2068: You ever do the DDR thing Eric?
ErictheRed: Nah
max2068: Check this out, It's quite insane
max2068: Stepmania - 2 songs ( Dragonforce )
ErictheRed:: it's not even fun anymore when you see this guy
max2068: I figure that kis has got to be asian
ErictheRed: that's actually a great deterrent from purchasing the game
ErictheRed: you'll have to excuse his performance though
ErictheRed: he had a fever
max2068: And a nosebleed
ErictheRed: must've been hot and bloody in there
max2068: Did he mention that the only prescription for his fever was more cowbell?
ErictheRed: nope
max2068: That's a shame
max2068: I hear it does wonders

One of ten 'eh?

2006-10-27T15:19:00.000-05:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
10
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

I'm rarer than my sister, who is one of twenty-three.

On the subject of company meetings...

2006-10-25T14:21:00.000-05:00

Regarding the meeting held for my sister's place of work, which was held in a movie theater:

New conversation started with SiStar at 15:11:48

FantasticMax: So...
FantasticMax: Everybody fired?
SiStar: no, i guess it's against the law to yell "fired" in a movie theater
FantasticMax: Hah!

Those crazy Japanese, again!

2006-10-16T16:29:00.000-05:00

Hey if you can think of a better use for aviation fuel, you let me know...

Seems like a pretty good reason to get your pilot's license.

Backstory

2006-10-13T18:25:00.000-05:00

There's been some happenings around this place recently, and I feel I should probably recap at least a few of the things that have happened.

Not to mention the fact that people seem to forget that China Ruby isn't written for you, it's written for me. Chances are, when you remind me that I haven't posted for close to 20 days, I already know it. The end all about it is that I just haven't felt like writing. It isn't a lack of time, just motivation. I just haven't felt like writing in quite a while. It might have been the transition to a new job, maybe the oncoming fall, or just that I didn't want to write. Whatever it was, I'm going to try to buck it and get back to the grind. My storytelling and basic writing fundamentals have suffered, and it's time to get them back in the right direction.

I've been trying to get new shoes for the longest time. I needed some sneakers and some casual shoes for the office. Shoe hunting has taken a lot more time than I imagined. I either couldn't find what I wanted, wasn't comfortable, or didn't trust my own sense of style enough to buy shoes for sure. Eventually I sought outside help.

So now I've got some shoes. New kicks aside, I was walking back from the shoe store and this dude rolls up to me in a blue cadilac that looked vintage 70's. It was in pretty good shape. Anyway, so this dude, guy really stop, but he leaned out his window.

"Hey, you wanna buy a watch?" he asked, leaning out his window.
"What?"
"I got this watch..." he said, and he showed it to me, but he kept the car rolling the whole time.
"Uh..."

Then it was too late. He kept rolling and was out of my life.

I turned to S______ who was next to me, and asked: "Did that actually happen?"
"You know, I'm not sure," S______ replied.

Fast forward to Yom Kipur.

SiStar and I went to the gay and lesbian friendly synagogue for services in the morning. They were held in the Javitz center, and it took us a while to get there, as the bus driver on that route decided not to stop to let us on.

After a 10 minute wait, we were on the way. Services were nice, and we looked out over the water. There were a lot of helocopters flying in front of the windows, but I guess that makes sense, as there is a heliport just down the street.

After services, I did the only Jewish thing I could think of, and went to see Jackass 2. It was pretty funny. A lot better than I expected.

I didn't eat any popcorn, or have a soda. Man did I want to.

Lauren and I planned on breaking the fast at a place called Smac on the lower east side. Smac is a small place that specializes in mac and cheese. We figured it would be a nice and easy on the stomach. Lauren was going back to services, I didn't really want to, so we decided to meet in Union Square after she was done with services around 6:30.

I was hungry, so I went down to wait in the park for her. I passed the time by playing Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney on my DS. Before I knew it, the time was 7:00, and I was so hungry. I got up off the bench, and went to call Lauren. She said she was just leaving services and was on the way to me. So I went back to the bench and played a little more Phoenix.

Another 30 minutes and I got up to call Lauren again. She was above ground, and on her way to me.

And then I realized that my ipod was gone.

I panicked.

I had my headphones plugged into the DS, and the ipod had been on my belt. It wasn't there anymore. I checked my bag, but it wasn't there. I ran back to the bench I had been sitting on. It wasn't there. I looked on the ground, asked people who had been sitting near me. No sign of it.

Many many expletives ran through my mind. I was instantly in a foul mood.

Dinner was tasty, but the only thing I was thinking about was how man I was that I would have to pay for a new ipod, and how it wasn't an expense I was prepared for at that time and all sorts of other foul thoughts.

After dinner, I filed a police report in Union Square, though the officer told me not to hold my breath.

Nice.

The next day, I remained in a crappy mood. I bemoaned the loss of my ipod all day long, but held out on buying a new one. I realized midway through the day that my gym ID was inside the ipod case. Of course, I didn't realize that until it was time to go to work, so there was nothing I could do about it.

With the week being off a day due to Yom Kipur, Wez and I shifted movie Tuesday to Wednesday, The film of the week was Jet Li's Fearless. It was pretty good. The fight choreography was great and the story was pretty decent. However, there was one problem.

There was this guy in the theater who would not shut up. It was a middle of the day show for a somewhat niche movie, and this guy wouldn't shut his damn yap. He was talking to his girlfriend about his friend who hooked up with some girl and blah blah blah.

I gave him the cursory three "be freaking quiet" glances, but to no avail. Finally, we hit this part in the movie where there's very little dialogue, and soft background music. And this dude was talking in his outside voice.

Perhaps because of recent events of my life, I tweaked a bit.

"Hey man," I said. "If you're going to talk, would you mind like, going in the hallway or something?"
"What did you say?" he asked me.
"You're being really loud. It's hard to concentrate," I told him.
"You want to fuckin fight man?" he asked.
"Actually, no," I said. "I'd really like to watch this movie, which is why I need you to shut up."
"I'll fucking kill you," he said. But his girlfriend hit him, and told him to be quiet. They shut up for the rest of the movie.

(A note for my mother: Sitting next to me was my friend Wez, who played college football. He's like 6'2" and was just as mad as me that this guy was talking. If anything happened, I had backup.)

Wez and I left the theater rather quickly after the movie ended, somewhat afraid of being shot or stabbed. The next stop was my gym. I wanted to find out if anyone had called about the ipod. I talked to the woman at the desk, asking her if anyone had called to say that they found something of mine. She seemed a little confused, and wanted to know what I lost.

We talked briefly about it, and she asked my name for a third time.

"You look familiar," she said. "What was your name again?" So I told her. Her eyes brightened. "Oh yes! I looked you up this morning. Someone dropped this off for you last night."

My jaw hit the floor. She handed me a brown paper envelope about ipod size. It had my member number written on it. The woman at the desk had written my name on the front.

No fucking way I thought.

"Can I open this?" I asked. (Stupid question.) Inside the envelope was my ipod. Completely intact, and perfect. "This might be the best thing that's ever happened to me in New York," I said.

Needless to say, I bought Wez a sunday to celebrate. I also donated $50 to Leukemia research, because with karma like that... You'd better give back.

My first day at the office

2006-09-27T17:18:00.000-05:00

I may have mentioned this before, but I've got this new job.

I'm working for a certain three letter hockey league and the first of the letters stands for National. I've got a fancy title, (digital video specialist,) my own email, (mkrueger at nhl.com) and my phone extension is being set up on Friday. In short, I've hit the big time. Expect business cards soon.

All that aside, I wanted to write up a little bit about exactly what went on my first day at the office. It's quite the amazing experience, and I'm sure that everything is downhill from here.

Monday morning, I got up, showered, shaved and took the train towards my office. I passed the time by making progress in my latest DS game, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, resisting the urge to yell "objection!" during the cross examination.

Moving on. I got to the office at 10, and signed in at the visitor desk. They scanned my bag and I hopped onto the express elevator up to the 47th floor. The receptionist there chatted with me for a little while before saying that my direct supervisor wasn't yet in the office, and I should have a seat until he arrived.

When my boss P___ came in, we traveled to the video room, and relaxed a bit. "You've got an appointment with J____," P___ said, "You'll spend the rest of the day with her more or less, filling out a ridiculous amount of paperwork. Don't forget to have fun..."
"Oh," I said, "Great."

Off I went to have a sit down with J____.

"Hang on a moment, we've got to go to my other office," said J____. We trucked down the hall, where she unlocked a door, revealing a room with a desk and two chairs. "Take the comfy seat," she told me. "You're going to be sitting in it for a while..."

And I was.

The first forms were the standard confidentiality, responsibility of property, taxes, New York taxes, proof of identity... blah blah blah. Nothing that fantastic, but my gosh did they take forever. When that was all finished, it was time to get lunch.

Wendy's. A lame salad and it was time to get back to work.

J____ met me back in the office, and it was time to talk about benefits. I was completely bowled over. I'm not going to go into incredible detail, as it's fairly great. J____ had to ask me if I was okay while we were going over everything. I told her, "Well, I mean, I'm coming from the experience of paying my own health insurance, and then getting nothing else."
"Aaah," she said. "Sit back, breathe it in a bit."

I did. It was pretty incredible. We then went on to examine options for the QTE, FSA and 401k. J____ showed me the information on the NHL's gym plan at Equinox, which is still far too expensive for me to pay, especially with almost a year left at my gym in Astoria.

Then she told me that the NHL maintains a luxury box at Madison Square Garden, and I can request up to four tickets for any given event. Cool! I thought.

"Sometimes they raffle off the suite for home games, I think there's one for tonight."
"Oh yeah?" I said. "How you get in on that?"
"It's easy, I'll put your name in."

So I went back to my office, and resumed surfing the internet, as there isn't much else for me to do at this point, since the equipment I'll be using isn't set up, and we don't exactly have any games to be played just yet.

A half hour or so later, the phone rang. It was J____, for me.

"Well, you've got some kinda luck Max," she said.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. What?"
"I hope you can find 11 friends, because you've got the NHL's suite for the game tonight."

Yeah.

Please note the fact that the ticket says "Club Suite" on it. It's probably the last one of those I'll ever see.

And yet, I had 12 of 'em.

Let me state again, that this is my FIRST DAY OF WORK.

Somehow, on my first day of work, I won the NHL suite at Madison Square Garden.

And of course, an email went out to the whole office, saying that I had won. Thusly, the question of, "who?" began being asked around the office. Boy that's some way to get your name out there.

So I called most everyone I know in New York, looking for people to come to the game with me. I rounded up a fair sized group and we all met at MSG. After one unsuccessful attempt to get in at the main entrance, we realized that the suites have their own special entrance to the garden. Up the escalator and to an elevator we went. Soon we were on the 10th floor and on the way to the box.

Upon arrival at the suite, the door was locked. Crap. I hope I don't need a key... I thought.

I ran down to get an attendant, who unlocked the door. Inside the suite, was some dude who works for MSG, and had been hanging out there. A little creepy.

But the suite was amazing. Three rows of seats on the home end, cornered on the far boards. There was free soda and a private bathroom. The game had already started, and so we all quickly sat down to watch.

I was floating on airs the entire time. My first day at the NHL, and I was sitting in the corporate box. The only thing missing was beer and hot dogs.

So at the first intermission, we went to the concession stand. To do so, you need to take an elevator down to the concourse level.

I had no idea where that elevator was, so I asked a woman who worked there: "Hi, we'd like to go downstairs to get some food. Can we do that?"
"Honey," she said to me, "If you're up here, you can do anything you damn well please in this building."

Again, cool.

We hopped on the elevator, where a very nice woman told us we'd all need tickets to get back up. Wez forgot his, so I gave him one of the three extras in my back pocket. What can I say, I'm a philanthropist.

We got our snacks, (including a "coney island combo," which is a hot dog inside a knish,) and headed back up in the private elevator. Nobody checked tickets.

The game went on, quite uneventfully, until midway through the third period, when the Islanders scored a controversial goal off a skate, which in my opinion, (and most everyone else's,) had a distinct kicking motion associated with it. (That's supposed to result in a no goal for the less hockey inclined.)

So what did I do? I stood up and screamed, "THAT'S BULLSHIT!"

And then I sat down immediately, realizing that it probably isn't in the best interest of me, nor anyone associated with the league for me to be hollering such things out of the balcony of the NHL suite.

Whoops.

Anyway, to wrap up, I've got tickets for the Bruins - Ranger game tonight. So far, the perks of this job cannot be beat. I once again find myself asking the question; "Is this really my life? Have I somehow manages to make this surreality possible?"

For now? Yes. Yes I have, and it tastes sweet.

Am I a bad son?

2006-09-23T16:10:00.000-05:00

Today during Rosh Hashona services, I may or may not have made a comment to my mother that I was "going to take off my shoe and go all Khrushchev on her ass if she didn't shaddap."

Didn't you know?

2006-09-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

I'm so not above stealing videos from smarty-pants.

Isn't it about time you got me a panda?

And in panda related news...

2006-09-20T21:17:00.000-05:00

Panda bites man. Man bites panda right back.

BEIJING (AP) — A drunken Chinese migrant worker jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo, was bitten by the bear and retaliated by chomping down on the animal's back, state media said Wednesday.

Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.

"He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand," and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said.

The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.

"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."

Other tourists yelled for a zookeeper, who got the panda under control by spraying it with water, reports said. Zhang was hospitalized.

Newspaper photographs showed Zhang lying on a hospital bed with blood-soaked bandages and a seam of stitches running down his leg.

The Beijing Youth Daily quoted Zhang as saying that he had seen pandas on television and "they seemed to get along well with people."

"No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang said. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much."

Ye Mingxia, a spokeswoman for the Beijing Zoo, confirmed the incident happened but would not give any details. She said Gu Gu was "healthy."

"We're not considering punishing him now," Ye said in a telephone interview. "He's suffered quite a bit of shock."

The Skinny

2006-09-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

So,

This coming week is my last one at the History Channel. It's been a fun ride there, but I've got something a little more interesting brewing.

Of course, by brewing, I mean I've been offered a job, and I'm taking it. Where you ask? Well that's the neat thing.

Starting in two weeks, I'm going to be working for the National Hockey League. You might have heard of us, we're big in Canada.

The responsibilities and so forth of my job break down into some neat things, but the high and low of it is basically that I'm getting paid to watch hockey, and cut packages entirely from hockey footage.

Better job out there for me? I doubt it.

I can hear the jealousy from some of my friends all the way in New York...

Why am I not surprised...

2006-09-14T01:27:00.000-05:00

... that this happened in Lawrence?

Boxes Of Cocaine Left Behind In Rental Van
$120,000 Found In Methuen Home

(CBS4) LAWRENCE Police in Lawrence arrested two people following the discovery of more than $1 million in cocaine in a rental van. Investigators found even more cocaine in a Methuen home along with $120,000.

Workers at a car rental agency found the drugs inside two liquor boxes in the back of the van on Tuesday morning. The cocaine was covered in transmission fluid to mask the scent.

The van was rented to 30-year-old Nicole Paquette of Haverhill. A detective posed as a car rental employee, called Paquette and told her to come pick up the boxes.

Paquette arrived at the store at short time later and was arrested. Police also arrested 44-year-old Angel Ayala, of Philadelphia, at a home in Methuen. Inside the home they found another $1.5 million in cocaine and $120,000 cash.

Paquette and Ayala were scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday in Lawrence District Court.

Dear Subway...

2006-09-13T19:05:00.000-05:00

The sandwich shop, not the transportation system. I got no beef with the MTA... this week.

Would it kill you guys to put a few more black olives on my sandwich when I say, "Hey, can I have some more olives?"

Will it really be such a big deal to give me the sliced equivalent of, oh, I don't know, seven olives? Yeah, let's call it seven. I really just want to be able to taste them when I eat my sub. I feel that this is fair for many reasons.

First, it isn't like I'm asking for extra meat or something. For real, a can of olives is like, $0.99 at the grocery store, and I'm sure since you buy in bulk volume, you get it cheaper than that.

Secondly, I don't get cheese, or sauce on my sandwich. That means you guys are making out like bandits without having to give me more expensive additions to the sandwich. Why can't you pass the savings along just a little bit?

Third, shouldn't you be making the sandwiches to the customer's desire anyway?

In closing Subway, I will continue to frequent your establishment. You're everywhere in New York, and the food served really isn't that bad for me. Just... give me a few more olives, okay?

A few quickies

2006-09-11T19:21:00.000-05:00

The afternoon:

New Conversation with BlinnBlinnCityofSin :: 15:42: ::

FantasticMax: You know what you should do tonight?
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: Play hockey with my new team?
FantasticMax: Maybe after that.
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: what?
FantasticMax: Get some Drambuie and some whiskey, pour them over ice and add a twist of lemon.
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: ???
FantasticMax: You know, have a rusty nail?
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: did you just make a joke about me needing a tetanus shot?
FantasticMax: Maybe...
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: oh you're some kinda godamn comedian aren't you
FantasticMax: : :-D <-- (That's a grin for the uninformed)
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: I hate you.

On the way to the office:

I was once again wearing a Red Sox shirt and hat as I walked down my street. Same kid from my last encounter involving jerk yankee youth is outside his building. He looks up at me, and opens his mouth again.

"Yo, the Red Sox really suck."
"Yeah, I know," I replied. "But you know what's worse?"
"Naw, what?" he asked.
"The fact that you're adopted, and your parents won't tell you the truth," I said to him without breaking stride.

I'm certain there's a nice warm place in hell waiting for me.

An interesting approach:

Later, I passed a man with a cardboard sign, walking in the opposite direction. It read:

Need money to get drunk so I can have two women take me home and molest me. Donations accepted in the form of cash, booze or just gimme your credit card.

Points for honesty, right? Much luck fella, I don't see it happening for you tonight...

And in the category of...

2006-09-10T20:11:00.000-05:00

...Totally useless, but kind of cool.

Look! It's a beer pouring robot!

Remember, my birthday is only 3 and a half months away...

I got a new job...

2006-09-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

Details to follow...

This day in history...

2006-09-07T02:01:00.000-05:00

I'm working with some interesting media tonight. Have a listen...

"Is there any way at all I could just get the medication without having to go through all this hassle? I mean, it's really a drag."
"It isn't a drag. It isn't a drag at all. Every time you get gonorrhea, your urinary system is damaged. And if you keep getting gonorrhea, one of the times you're going to be in serious trouble..."

"I will now show you how you can avoid getting any of these diseases in the first place. If you have sexual intercourse there are two things you must do. First, keep something between you and germs of venereal disease by using a good rubber. Test it carefully. Inflate the rubber by inflating it as you would a toy balloon until the rubber is fully extended. Look for any escaping air. It may be further tested by filling it with two cups of water, and noting if any 'oozing' is present."

If the woman has gonorrhea, or Syphilis, as she probably has...""

2006-09-06T22:42:00.000-05:00

New IM conversation with BlinnBlinnCityofSin :: 23:28:51 ::

Fantasticmax: I keep having to clip out this media of Queen Elizabeth on horseback
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: ooo, sounds like fun
Fantasticmax: and I keep accidentally naming it, "Elizabeth on horesback"
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: hahahahahahaha
Fantasticmax: I've got prostitutes on the brain
BlinnBlinnCityofSin: dont we all?

I ruin movies for YOU!

2006-09-05T14:41:00.000-05:00

You know that movie Crank, with Jason Statham and Amy Smart?

The one where Statham plays this guy who is poisoned and he has to keep jacking his adrenalin up or he's going to die? And there's no cure for this poison in his system?

Well, he dies at the end of the movie.

There. I just saved you $10.25

It truly is a wonder...

2006-08-30T12:59:00.000-05:00

... That I haven't been stabbed yet.

This could also alternatively be called: Scammers, beggars and the rude.

I had a job interview last Wednesday. I don't want to talk about that yet, as I'm not sure if I'm going to take their offer. Some negotiation is still needed before I'm willing to leave TDIH. But you never know, you could soon be able to contact me at mkrueger@___.com

Anyway, after the interview I went to Ray's Pizza, because if I eat before an interview I'll get all nervous and my stomach makes funny noises. The last thing I need when I'm trying to impress someone is to be gurgling every five seconds or so. Or farts. Seriously.

So I'm eating my pizza when this guy comes in and starts placing cards down near people who are eating. I've seen this tactic before in the subway, it works like this; On the card is some sort of sob story, and by putting it on a card, the person who is looking for money is assured you'll at least glance at their pitch.

The down side is that the cards must be collected, and the vast majority of people still won't give any money.

So this guy's story is that he's deaf, has a wife and two kids and is making his living by selling these "deaf education kits," (A 2"x1.5" card, which I assume has the ASL alphabet on the back, I didn't check.)

He went to the back of the restaurant and handed out his wares, then collected them and came back up to me. Now, you know if you've been reading for a while, that American Sign Language is one of my favorite ways to mess with people, but I genuinely relish my opportunities to sign with people who are actually deaf.

So what'd I do?

I signed to the guy.

I asked what was up, and how long had he been deaf.

He stood there and looked at me like I was hitting a sack of kittens with a hammer.

I signed something simple. I asked if he knew ASL. The horrified expression remained on his face.

"You asshole," I snapped, "You're not deaf, you're just trying to make a buck. You're a big fake you jerk."

A woman from the back of the restaurant came up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He turned around, and she stuck out her hand. "I want my dollar back," she said.

That's me, crusader for truth.

Next, we need a little back-story.

I like the Mets. Blah blah 1986 Red Sox dream crushing wah wah, shut up. Get over it. It doesn't matter anymore since 2004, and the other baseball team in town is the freaking Yankees. Who do you want me to go see? Plus Shea stadium is pretty nice, you can get tickets for less than $18, and there's few mascots who can truly hang with Mr. Met.

So, I had tickets to the game last Sunday. I've been searching for the perfect Mets hat for a while, but totally came up empty at every turn. Lids? Nope. Modells? Nope. This hat was a freaking Unicorn, not unlike the G train.

Saturday, my awesome girlfriend found me the Mets hat, and then made me dinner. Honestly? It doesn't get better than that.

Sunday comes around, and the game is rained out. Instead, S______ and I went to see Snakes on a Plane. After the movie ended, we walked back outside into the rain, and I realized, Oh holy crap, I left my hat inside.

I ran into the theater, told the usher what was up, and went to retrieve my hat.

:: pause for laughter ::

Right. Brand new Mets hat, in a theater in Queens, home of the Mets. As you can imagine, it was not in the theater. As you may also imagine, I was livid. I owned that hat for ONE DAY and lost it. I like to think I'm careful with my possessions, especially gifts, but sometimes, I wonder if I'm not completely retarded.

Feel free not to answer that.

Well, the rained out Mets game was rescheduled for Monday, and that didn't leave me much time to find a replacement hat. The last Mets game I went to, I wore a Met shirt and a Sox hat. A few people asked if I was confused, and I was looking to avoid that situation again.

That night, I stayed in Manhattan with the intention of going to the Manhattan Mall in the morning. The mall is home to an unchecked Lids, and a Mets Clubhouse if all else failed. It opened at 9am. So Monday morning, off I went to the mall, at the bright hour of 9am.

In order to get there, I had to take the 6 to 59th St and transfer to the N. This is no big shakes, but it was in the middle of rush hour.

Gross.

The benefit of working nights is that I'm used to sitting on the train. I don't like being packed in with lots of other people, but it was a necessary evil.

Now, the Lexington station at 59th St is designed poorly. It gets hot, crowded and is often smokey. The front doors of the first car on the train open to a wall, which means that those getting off the train have to wade through a crowd of people trying to get into the second door.

Simple physics dictates that two masses cannot occupy the same space at the same time. That means that you have to get out of the way for the people exiting the train before you can enter it.

Some people don't think physics applies to them, which is where the "rude" comes in.

As me, and several tens of other people waited for passengers to disembark the train, a voice called out from behind us: "GET ON THE TRAIN PEOPLE."

A man with an umbrella was pushing through the crowd of people waiting to get on the train. I was standing still with my arm on my bag, waiting for a space to open up. This guy walked into my elbow.

Then he turned around and shot me a nasty glare, cause, you know, he walked into my elbow and that's totally my fault. And this is where I shouldn't have said anything.

But...

"You have to let people off before you can get on dude. That's the way it works. There's no space to get on until they get off. You must be new at this," I said.

He turned to look back at me.

"But, you know, I guess since you must be more important than anyone else on the platform, so you go ahead and push through the polite people," I said.

"Fuck you," he replied.
"Creative," said I.

He turned away and started muttering. I head him say something along the lines of "Punch you in the face," but I didn't really care since he was walking away from me. I got a few smiles from people who probably wanted to say something too, but were afraid of gaining a New York Stabbing story.

Eventually I made it to the mall, and went inside. It was like 9:10, and there were a lot of people milling about. I went up to the Lids, and the light was off. What the...? I thought. Looking around, there were very few stores actually open.

Take note friends, the mall opens at 9...

... But the stores open at 10. Hooray!

So I hunkered down at the food court with my DS Lite to play some Animal Crossing. That'll kill a lot of time any day of the week. And so it did.

A little while later, a couple of German tourists came up to me to ask some questions about the Mets, and if they should go to the game. I said yes, they definitely should.

Some time after that, I smelled a smell that was unpleasant behind me. I should mention that I was wearing my amazingly fantastic ER6i isolation headphones, and so I didn't hear him approach.

Enter the beggar.

He tapped me on the back. "Excuse me sir." Ugh. That was strike one, I don't like to be touched by people I don't know. I don't even like to be touched by some people I do know. The guy taps me on the shoulder again.

I looked at my watch. It was 10:00. Sweet! Stores would be open! So I picked up my bag off the floor and started to put the DS away.

Dude touches me again. "Sir?"

I know what he's going to say, and I don't want to be a part of it. Some story about how he's got three kids, and he's just trying to get something to eat or how he needs to get some help or medicine or whatever. Some crap story to make me feel sorry for him.

I'm not having it.

Don't get me wrong, I give money to charities. I sponsor friends doing AIDS or cancer walks. I donate to cancer research and support legitimate organizations like homeless shelters, but I don't believe in giving someone on the street my hard earned money just because they ask for it.
I work hard for my dollars, and they're mine to do with as I will.

I caught a look at this guy from my peripheral vision. Denim jacket and green pants. Not the worst homeless guy I've seen, and certainly not getting my money.

I picked up my bag and started to leave.

"Yo what's your problem?" he yelled at me. I ignored him some more.

"Hey! Give me a fucking dollar!" he screamed. I walked to the escalator and out of his life.

Next stop? Lids!

They had my hat. I was dumbfounded. So I bring it to the register, where the proprietor of the store is on the phone. I had him the hat, credit card and my borrowed discount card, (purloined from my roommate's boyfriend.)

"Oh crap," said the salesman. "I'm on a corporate conference call, I can't run your credit card until it's done."
"How long will that be?" I asked.
"Too long man. Too long," he said.

He ended up calling into the conference call from his cell phone, which was super nice of him, and turned out to be the first nice experience of the day.

Flash forward a bit where Wez and I decide not to go to the Met game due to inclement weather, (and a lack of attendance.) Instead, we took in Beerfest. A funny movie that started slow, and picked up a great deal before the end.

As we were leaving the theater, I asked Wez, "Hey, I'm definitely wearing my hat, right?"

Open bar?

2006-08-30T00:53:00.000-05:00

How nice is it to know where you can drink for free in NYC?

Transportation Gameshow

2006-08-24T03:44:00.000-05:00

Coming home on the subway at 4:30 is a bit like playing Press Your Luck.

Especially when the uptown N is skipping 49th street, and therefore uses the express tracks at 42nd.

After waiting on the platform for 20 or so minutes, the lights of a train start shining down the rails, letting you know that there's something coming.

"Come on N! No Q. No Q. No Q. NO Q!" And then you can see it's a Q, and you get all disappointed.

But wait! After the Q has left, there's more lights on the express track! It must be an N!

Oh wait no, it's a service train.

Double Whammy. You lose. Or, wait, actually...

I lose.

I'm terrible...

2006-08-23T21:39:00.000-05:00

Tonight, while waiting in line at Subway, (the restaurant, not the transportation,) I saw a young Asian child wearing a bright orange shirt for "Mathematics and physics camp."

Am I horrible for not being able to stifle a snicker? (A laugh, not the candy-bar)

Blinn would be proud

2006-08-23T21:36:00.000-05:00

Hey look! It's me in hockey gear with some cute girl!

Oh, and if you're out there Brian Foley; no, I won't snap up the other side of my cage...

Creepy

2006-08-22T11:58:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had a dream about being attacked by sharks. Just as I was about to get away from them, my alarm went off and I woke up.

I wish I knew my own plan to get away from those sharks...

It's never too early...

2006-08-16T19:48:00.000-05:00

To think about buying me presents!

Today's subject? Sleep!

A somewhat affordable white noise machine

A progressive wake alarm clock

Just give me a holler, I'll get you a shipping address.

Here's the question...

2006-08-15T03:45:00.000-05:00

Is it funny because it's 4:41 in the morning? Or is it funny because it's hilarious?

Oh by the way...

2006-08-15T00:35:00.001-05:00

Aaaaaaaah.

AAAAAAAAUGH.

AAAAUGH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TIM WE'RE NOT EVEN BEING PAID TO WORK ON THAT WOMAN'S MOVIE!

LET HER DEAL WITH IT BY HERSELF AND FINISH THE FUCKING WEBBY CUT SO I CAN GO HOME ALREADY.

I'll be damned

2006-08-15T00:35:00.000-05:00

I've been in New York for a year.

Who knew?

Filed under the category of: ... what?

2006-08-14T17:39:00.000-05:00

Omelet hell

2006-08-10T02:29:00.000-05:00

My dinner (lunch?) didn't go very well today.

I decided to go with a breakfast theme, as I had some Better 'n Eggs in the fridge. In fact, I had two cartons. One was regular Better 'n Eggs, and the other was three cheese , for convenience in making cheesy eggs.

Well, I decided to saute some onions to put in the omelet, and that's where my first injury came from. While trying to be all Alton Brown and flip the onion pieces without using a spatula, (something I'm actually quite good at,) I managed to fling one out of the pan, and onto my foot.

I wasn't wearing shoes.

Or socks.

So, there's this recently in a frying-pan hot onion on my foot, and it just so happened to be coated in olive oil, thusly sticking to my skin. I didn't really notice it at first, but then there was this searing hot pain on the top of my foot.

I reacted out of reflex and snapped my foot forward...

...Right into the cabinet, stubbing my big toe.

Oh, it gets better.

Next, after icing my foot, and re-heating the pan, I poured the remaining Better 'n eggs in the pan. There wasn't enough for a proper omelet, so I cracked open the second carton.

They did away with the pull ring thing, and that should have been my first sign things weren't right, but, I ignored it.

"Oh well, new spout," I said to no one in particular, and poured the eggs into the pan.

They were grayish green.

And they smelled funny.

I looked at the expiration date on the carton: "Hmm, June 06." But wait a minute, I just bought these last week, in the waning days of July?

OH SWEET CHOCOLATE CHRIST WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

While I was contemplating the eggs, they had been cooking in the pan. The recently heated eggs smelled of death. Pure stinking evil rancid road killed death. Easily, this was the third worst smell in my life. (Read about what caused #2 here!)

I gagged, and fought the impending vomit in my throat. I quickly shut off the gas and poured the half done omelet into the trash can. I tossed the gross eggs in and tied up the bag.

The smell wouldn't go away.

It wafted through the entire apartment, viciously murdering any neutral or pleasant smell it came upon. It was like a noxious cloud that you could see in the air, making the whole place thick with a heavy fog of puke inducing rancid odor.

Oh, and then I had to go to work.

Oh sweet jesus yes...

2006-08-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

March isn't soon enough.

That was sweet

2006-08-06T15:50:00.000-05:00

Being the minority sports fan in a teeming metropolis filled with people who hate your baseball team is always an interesting experience. Mostly it's a negative, but the other week, it lead to the single coolest moment of my year so far in New York.

I was walking down the street, attired in my finest Trot Nixon shirt, whilst wearing my faded Sox hat.

From the opposite direction came another gentleman in a Red Sox shirt and hat. He nodded in approval at my attire, and I back at his.

Without a word, we both raised our hands, and high-fived as we walked by each other.

Now, the cool thing about the situation, was that no words were exchanged between us. I'm not sure who instigated the high-five, but it was perfectly timed, and executed beautifully.

It was, more than likely, the best moment I've had in New York City.

Video games are everywhere...

2006-08-03T00:32:00.000-05:00


Pretty damn incredible what you can do with stop motion. I wish I were this creative...

Oh god...

2006-08-02T22:59:00.000-05:00

Hey uh, Hey Lauren:

Product Page

Yeah, just for you.

Ok, listen...

2006-08-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

Mom, Dad, Lauren, S______, Blinn, really, anyone who loves me:

Now, I know that my birthday, and Chanukah are a long time away, but consider this; If you're wondering what you could get me that would just make my eyes light up like a little kid who just found out that Disneyland is in the cards for winter vacation, you should maybe make a plan for getting me this:

I know, I know. It's in Japan. It'll take some work, some clever shipping, and probably close to $350,000. But seriously, can you put a price on love?

I didn't think so.

More recent dreams

2006-08-01T10:52:00.000-05:00

The other night, I had this terrifying dream that the Red Sox traded David Ortiz in some blockbusting 30 player multi-team deal. I can't remember who they wound up getting for him, but nobody is worth that trade. I woke up in a cold sweat, and had to check online to see if it were true. Thank goodness it isn't.

This morning, I woke up after having a dream about being asked to play in a semi-professional hockey game. I was all dressed for the game, but the ice was terrible. Cracks in it everywhere and it was melting in places.

Oh, and I didn't have a stick.

The coach offered me any number of hockey sticks, but they were all for left handed shooters.
"You have NO right handed sticks?" I asked
"It vas team deecision," he replied to me. "Goalteender has right handed steeck. Use his."

And then I realized the entire team was slavic as well.

So I sat out the first period, with no stick to play with. I was somewhat upset, not to mention I think we were losing.

At the start of the second, I went over to the other team again and begged. In the warm up skate before the second, I asked a player if they could point me to their equipment manager. She told me they didn't have one.

Neat.

I asked them if anyone had an extra righty stick I could use, but they all said they shot lefty. One player, who was carrying two sticks, had a couple more in the back of his jersey like a sword.

It was a right handed stick.

So I asked if I could use it. "This thing?" he responded. "This is just some junker we keep around, we're trying to break it."
"Whatever dude, I just need a stick," said I.

So he gave it to me. It was really short. I tapped the blade on the ice once, and it snapped.

I wound up skating off into the locker room, ending my professional hockey appearance just as quickly as it had begun, and without playing a single shift.

On the way to the locker room, I saw M___ McK_____ with a cake. This is strange for a number of reasons, to include the fact that I haven't seen him in over a year and a half now, and the fact that I don't like him.

"McK_____, if that cake is some sort of a joke for me, I'm in no mood," I snapped.
"Uh," he said.
"Of course, if it's for Blinn's birthday, then you're fine."

Somehow, even in my dream, I remembered that it's Mike's Birthday today.

Happy Birthday Blinn.

Captions Now!

2006-07-29T08:35:00.000-05:00

July 4th: Lauren and I went to a restaurant on herburger safari called Jackson Hole for burgers before fireworks. As you can plainly see, the burger was enormous. It was also delicious. Also, the bun fell apart before I could finish, but that didn't stop it from being a great burger. The red sauce is BBQ, and it was great.

This is Wez. He used to have more hair. We work together at TDIH on the night shift. He, my sister and I all went down to Long Island City to watch the midtown fireworks from the Queens side. I'm fairly sure he doesn't want this picture on the internet. Tee-hee.

This is Long Island City. There were a LOT of people there. The park area that we watched from was pretty nice. I would have enjoyed a chair or something, but it was fun.

Another day, I was on my way to Steve & Barry's when I saw all these cop cars. Lots of cop cars. I don't know what they were doing. This was after around 25 or so had already passed by. Lotsacops.

Jarett and Emily came to town the next weekend. We went to dinner at the Heartland Brewery. It was a good time. Jarett, as you can see, really enjoys his beer. I had a cider with a shot of Chambord sunk in it. It was tasty.

This is me, eating six saltines in under a minute with no water. In the background, you can see my big ass TV. Oh how I love her...

In the alley nex to my building, we made a 2 liter bottle of diet coke shoot a gyzer into the air. After that, my neighbor came out of his basement apartment and bitched about the diet coke in the alley. I bit my tongue and prevented myself from saying something like, "Well maybe if you shut your kids up once and a while, and didn't let them scream in the alley, I would have done it elsewhere."

We went to a mets game too. It was a good time. I like the mets.

I also enjoy beer, as long as it's at the ballpark.

This is Shea stadium, the pride of Queens.

After the game, we went to Joes Best Burger. Those are my cheese fries. They were excellent.

My burger from Joe's. Oh so tasty.

Boston pictures to follow later!

Remote Controlled Cars, (for big kids...)

2006-07-27T20:23:00.000-05:00

Worse, then worser...

2006-07-27T03:10:00.000-05:00

There's nothing that sucks like coming down the stairs to find that an N train is just leaving 42nd street at 3:16am.

Actually, having another train pull in to the station at 3:24 and stop, not open the doors, and then proceed down the tracks is a lot higher on the suck scale.

Retrotastic!

2006-07-26T00:04:00.000-05:00

I was a big fan of the old NES standby "Burger Time?" I'm not sure, but it might be why I'm so inclined to beef patties on a bun. Back in the day, there was nothing that made me happier than going over to A___ K_____'s house to play some Nintendo, and inevitably, we'd toss in Burger Time.

The point of Burger Time is to assemble burgers, by running over parts of the burger. You run away from hot dogs, and if they get too close, you dash 'em with pepper to stun the red-hots with pepper.

You'd start out building basic burgers, and move on to more advanced doubles, and cheese and all that jazz. I was pretty awesome at Burger Time.

Tonight, I got sent a link with a new twist on an old favorite: Sushi Samurai

If the retro burger thing is more your speed, you can find a flash version here.

Know what?

2006-07-24T12:55:00.000-05:00

I don't much care that you've already seen it. I still think it's cool.

The diet coke & mentos experiment: